Social Hosting – a parent’s dilemma

With Prom Nights & Graduation, Parties & Celebration – should we be Social Hosting?

Social Hosting – but they promised they wouldn’t drink! sxc.hu photo by tiagotrs

Kids will be kids, remember you were one once too – they’re going to party somewhere, aren’t they? If teens are going to party anyway, should we keep them in a safe environment and be a Social Host in our own home?

And so the argument goes, parents should be parents – underage drinking is illegal therefore parents should not allow it, period! But the story here is about parents who hosted a teen party that was supposed to be alcohol free, they supervised it, heading into the fray a couple of times and found no alcohol, but an anonymous call brought the police to the party – they found alcohol and arrested the parents for hosting the evening.

Social Hosting Laws

Social Hosting liability is created by a statute or case law that imposes liability on social hosts as a result of their serving alcohol to adults or minors. TODAYMoms discusses ‘Social Hosting Laws’ – many states have different laws, and under some of them, a parent can face criminal charges and hefty fines if an accident occurs as the result of any underage drinking, even if you’re not at home, or say, you’re on vacation!

 

msnbc.com DAD ARRESTED FOR KIDS UNDERAGE DRINKING
Bill Burnett and his wife Cynthia talk with TODAY’S Matt Lauer about the complicated issue.

Prohibition didn’t work with adults

History taught us that Prohibition, aimed at eliminating the consumption of alcohol in adult males, was not very successful, stories of rum runners, moonshine and hooch distilleries abound. Now, throw into the mix, hormone driven teenagers, a bonfire of emotions and a brain that’s not fully developed and they’re going to party on their own, in some deserted area and drive home, and we have all heard those endless sad stories.

Is there a way to teach responsible drinking?

One is certainly struck by the notion that if we teach our children how to drive, why don’t teach them how to drink – and never to combine the two.  Some experts say that American parents should take a page out of Southern Europe’s approach to alcohol and remove the taboo, while others claim despite anecdotal reports of adults teaching youth to drink in moderation, survey data provide no evidence that European youth are more responsible about alcohol consumption than American youth.  Perhaps the lesson is not about moderation, but rather perception and mystique – how do we break the youthful notion that alcohol is not some magical potion?

Considering Social Hosting?
Investigate Influencing your child’s behavior with a contract before hand

Parents all have different Parenting Styles and each brings a different approach to every situation in our efforts to protect and nurture. In essence, if parents can make a deep emotional connection with their child before they enter their crazy teens, that foundational bond will grow and adapt as the terms of engagement become more intricate and emotionally charged. If you’re considering social hosting for your teen and their friends, consider Behavioral Contracting first – it’s a real non-nonsense place to begin.

Have you heard about Behavioral Contracting? Family IQ has an amazing approach for parents to teach responsibility to their children that uses consequences as the coach.

Do you let your teen have a drink with you at home?


Would you host a party for your teenager with the understanding that there would be no alcohol?

Weaning Child Off The Pacifer

Operation “No Pacifier” in full effect: A Daily Chronicle

 

They say things are much easier with the second child since you learn from the first. While I do believe this is true for some things, I don’t think it is true for all things. My daughter (Gabby) is now five years old and my son (Anthony) is almost two years old (21 months) and they could not be more different. In personality and in behavior. We have been trying to gradually wean Anthony off of the pacifier the same way we did with Gabby. The difference is that we were a lot more diligent with things with Gabby since she was the first child. When she turned one we immediately took the pacifier away during the day time and only gave it to her at night. Which was a great strategy and one weekend we went to New York to visit my parents and forgot the pacifier home and she slept two nights without it. When we returned home I just didn’t give it to her and voila the pacifier was gone! Easy Right?

With Anthony we were a lot more relaxed with everything so we allowed the one year mark to pass without even thinking about the pacifier. He was a lot more attached to it and we just let it slide. At 16 months it hit us, we need to start weaning him off the pacifier since he will be starting preschool at two years old and he can’t take the pacifier to school nor would  we allow him to go to school with a pacifier. So we implemented the same strategy. However we were slacking once again. If we went in public we took the pacifier to keep him calm “in-case” he starts crying, or to put him to sleep in the car when he gets fussy. At nights he would cry non-stop if he didn’t get the pacifier. Once you gave it to him he would immediately stop crying and be fast asleep. We were not consistent in our actions so five months later this strategy was a failure.

Now its time to get serious. It’s now time for my holiday break and I will be off work for six days so this is the perfect time for “Operation No-Pacifier” to go into effect. He will be quitting cold turkey. This is not the best way to get rid of a pacifier but desperate times call for desperate measures. It will be some long nights so not having to get up early in the morning should make it easier for me.

Night 1: Dec 24th – Withdrawals

It was a rough night, an hour of fussing for the pacifier and about forty minutes of non-stop crying before he got tired and fell asleep around 11:30pm. He typically wakes up at night looking for it so of course he woke up tonight. We brought him over to our room to try to calm him and so his crying would not wake Gabby up. We had family over for the holidays and the whole house could hear it. I felt bad that we chose to do this now and no one could get a peaceful night’s sleep but it had to be done. He was going bananas throwing his body and kicking his legs… well the usual tantrum behavior. Really rebelling and I’m sure he was hoping we would give in as we usually do. He was going through pacifier withdrawals.

Day 2 & Night 2 – Dec 25th Withdrawals/ Walking on Egg shells

It’s Christmas! And it’s like he woke up angry. I know what you are thinking, how could you do that to him on Christmas? Well we said that too but we won’t have this opportunity to work with him any time soon. So we had to make the sacrifice. He woke up crying in the middle of the night. It doesn’t help that he has a cold and was already miserable from that. But I think he was very tired since he didn’t get much sleep the night before. I gave him something to eat and he was bit calm but acting very clingy. Crying all the time and he had a bad case of the jealousy. He was already territorial with us, not wanting us to hold Gabby but now he does not even want her to touch us. Everything seems to bother him and he was having a tantrum for every little thing. We were walking on egg shells trying not to do anything to upset him. Really… I can’t believe I let a child make me feel that way. We had Christmas dinner at my uncle’s house and my hubby had to leave early to take him home because of his behavior. When I got home my hubs told me he had a temperature (which he has been having from teething) and he had to give him fever medicine. Typically the pacifier would sooth him during the times he was not feeling well but there was no turning back now. He was asleep when I got home but the midnight saga continued. It was basically a repeat of Night 1. We just let him cry until he fell asleep.

Day 3 & 4: Dec 26th – 27th Corrective Actions

Day 3 and 4 were a repeat of Day 2. He continues to rebel as we patiently wait for him to forget about the pacifier. But we decided that rather than just ignoring the tantrums we would take some corrective actions. So when he laid on the floor and started kicking we would hold his legs and explained to him no kicking. He didn’t have to get up but the kicking and stomping needed to STOP. Then we walked away and left him lying there. When he was done crying he got up. Night four my hubby put him to bed it was surprisingly quiet. I didn’t hear him cry at all. His strategy was to let him watch Mickey mouse on his phone until he got tired and he fell asleep LOL. We were not so lucky when he woke up in the middle of the night. Night time saga continued.

Day 5: Dec 28th We see the light at the end of the tunnel

He woke up a bit cranky but after eating he was pleasant. Yes I will just say pleasant because it was improvement but he was still a bit clingy. As the day progressed I saw improvements. He was playing well. We literally had no tantrums, we had an almost tantrum when Gabby took back her toy from him, the toy he just snatched from her, and he laid on the floor and whined…No kicking yal! You have no idea the joy I had inside. He was still trying to just take things from his sister or getting into mischief (which is normal) but the difference with today and the last four days was that he handled correction better. He didn’t go into his tantrum because we corrected him. He was playing with Gabby and hugging her. He took a late nap so we knew he would go to bed late. So we let him watch his favorite show (Mickey Mouse) until he was tired and fell asleep. And surprise surprise he slept through the night. We could actually see the light at end of this terror tunnel.

Day 6: Dec 29th -My baby is back!

Anthony slept through the night. He slept for eight hours straight, no mid-night crying. This is my last day home and I feel like we have officially gotten through this process. He is acting like his normal self today. I think he has either forgotten about the pacifier , has forgiven us, or he has finally accepted that we are not going to give in to the crazy LOL.

I wanted to share this with you all so you can learn from our mistake and start transitioning your child off the pacifier as soon as you can if it is your desire to do so. And if you chose to go longer I wanted to give you some insight of what it will take and what to expect. I do recommenced gradually weaning your child off but if you are not consistent it can make the process harder and quitting cold turkey may be the strategy you need to take.. Just make sure you stay the course and don’t give in.

Happy parenting <3

Facebook Comments

On Becoming a TakeBack Mom

There is a wiped out mom that lives in a shoe. She has so many challenging children; she doesn’t know what to do.


There is a wiped out mom that lives in a shoe. She has so many challenging children; she doesn’t know what to do. Willie whines and Connie complains and cries. David destroys, disrupts and defies and Lilly lies. The triplets throw tantrums, talk back and tease and the other siblings swear, steal and scream. Harry humiliates, Rudy runs off and Annie ignores and argues. Whew!

After popping her next dose of Xanax, mom laments how things could have gotten this bad. After all, she does follow the infamous “Winging It” parenting philosophy that has been followed by millions before her. If you’re not familiar with it, here are the basic rules:

When you ask Cindy to do something, repeat your request up to 10-15 times as needed. If she fails to comply, start warning or threatening her that something bad is going to happen. Hope that she will eventually follow through because you haven’t figured out what the “something bad” is going to be.

When Billy throws a tantrum after you’ve asked him to pick up his toys, do the job yourself. The poor kid is going through a difficult stage.

Give Cissy that candy bar after she makes a scene in the store. Really, what would the other shoppers think of you and your screaming child.

When Joey is playing nicely with his toys, don’t praise him for his good behavior as he might start acting up when you pay some attention. For goodness sake, let sleeping dogs lie. Be happy you have a break already. Out of sight, out of mind.

On the rare day that Sarah cleans up on her own, praise her and then remind her that she should have done it yesterday. C’mon, what’s praise without a little kick in the end?

Don’t want to deal with Bobby’s behavior right now? That’s OK! Put it off for a few minutes or hours. Whenever you’re ready.

Don’t feel you need to be specific when dealing with your child’s problem behavior. Just tell Samantha she’s a rotten kid and leave it at that. And don’t play with her anymore either or she might think she’s getting away with something.

Barney’s screaming may bother you today but tomorrow it may not get to you at all. Don’t worry about being consistent, as it will all work out. And by the way, don’t fret if your hubby disciplines differently than you. The kid will figure it all out somehow.

Had enough of our ranting?

Disgruntled with the results of the “Winging It” approach and overcome with the desire to Take Back her Kds and ditch the Xanax, mom delivers a powerful dose of purposeful parenting to the brood.

When Take Back mom asks Cindy to do something, she states a simple command and uses good eye contact. She doesn’t yell out from the other room and she reduces any distractions (TV, video games.) She makes sure Cindy understands her request as well. Cindy complies with the request because she knows what the consequences are. She also knows that when she behaves well, good things happen.

Billy’s tantrums are now short lived because no one pays too much attention to them and no one else will pick up his blocks. He knows how to get a job done. Cissy doesn’t get the candy bar at the store when she throws a fit. The woman driving the next cart tells Take Back mom to “hang tough” because “we’ve all been there.”

Our eagle-eyed Take Back mom notices snippets of good behavior and attacks it with a lightning bolt of praise. “I love how you…Look at that!” Quick as a flash, she’s back to the laundry. The kids don’t know what to make of it but something starts stirring inside.

There are no reminders of past bad deeds anymore because every moment is a new chance to grow. Consequences these days are swift, immediate and appropriate and mom and dad are on the same page. Everyone has some playtime with mom because she knows that play can be a powerful motivator.

Simplistic Musings? Absolutely!

Taking back your kids could likely be a parent’s most difficult challenge when relationships seem to have gone belly up and hopes for happy futures begin to fade. However, the task is nowhere near hopeless. Reading an article or getting support from people who care can help a wiped out mom take the first baby steps to becoming a Take Back mom. We can take them back! Help someone today.

 

What’s Your Anti-Drug?

An important message for your child, tween, or teen!


(ARA) – Think about it: How many times in your busy life have you felt like you had so much going on at once? You know, the feeling that you could barely fit another team practice, Internet chat, phone call with friends, or even a moment to just chill out from your crazy day?

Think about all the stuff that keeps you going – that gets you pumped, that frees your soul, that makes you feel alive. These are all the things that stand between you and drugs. Most kid’s lives are so busy that they don’t have the time for distractions like drugs. Look around, it’s easy to see that your friends and most kids are like you. Most kids don’t do drugs because they’re involved with so many things that are far more important.

Everyone has an Anti-Drug, and people want to hear about it. That’s why the National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign created a national movement where kids are telling kids what makes life worth living and what inspires them to stay drug-free. Tens of thousands of responses have already come in from across the country with kids answering the question “What’s Your Anti-Drug?” through online replies, snail mail and even through artistic expressions.

The most popular Anti-Drugs have been family-oriented and sports-related, including parents, friends, brothers and sisters, football, biking, hoops, rock-climbing, soccer, and even hot air ballooning. Other submissions range from dancing to drawing, music, talking on the phone, even yourself!

All of this goes to show that kids have got better things to do than drugs. With a recent government survey showing that 72% of you have never used illicit drugs in your lifetime, you’ve proven the fact that most kids don’t do drugs.

Franklin Wright a teen from Bethesda, MD, said that he would rather play football than use drugs. “I’m always thinking about football. It makes me feel happy when I’m sad or down,” he said in a written essay submitted with a photo of himself. “Some kids just want to play in high school. I want to play forever.”

“My Anti-Drug is what lies ahead, my future, my life, my family, and friends,” said 12-year-old Kristen Sadaly, of Erie, Pa. She felt her future potential to succeed is more important than wasting her time using drugs. “I have so many opportunities headed for me.”

So, think about your Anti-Drug. What have you done or experienced that matters more to you than anything else?

Now be heard, too! Enter you Anti-Drug and check out what other kids are saying on the Web site www.whatsyourantidrug.com, or call 877-958-5900 for more information. And if you’re interested in visiting a great Web site that’s filled with entertainment, games and information on drugs, go to www.freevibe.com.


Courtesy of ARA Content, www.aracontent.com, e-mail: info@aracontent.com

 

Helping Children Cope With Tragedy and Fear

All of us are now facing our feelings of anxiety and fear as we prepare for the task of coping with this United States national tragedy. As we confront the challenge of helping our children, the following guidelines may help you give the kids you love and care about the emotional support they will need as they face the days ahead.


September 11, 2001

All of us are now facing our feelings of anxiety and fear as we prepare for the task of coping with this United States national tragedy. As we confront the challenge of helping our children, the following guidelines may help you give the kids you love and care about the emotional support they will need as they face the days ahead.

How to Help Kids

Talk to them about it. While younger children may not have a lot to say, older children will want to share their ideas and concerns. Listen to them without interrupting. Remember that all feelings are OK. They just are. Try not to judge. Just listen.

Reassure them that they are safe. You may need to do this often in the days to come.

Do not avoid the facts. Share basic information, as you know it. Be open and honest about what has occurred. Provide simple, accurate information. While you won’t have all the answers, your openness, love and support will make a tremendous difference in how children will cope with these events. Your caring actions will foster their resilience.

Reassure children that most people in the world can be trusted and that a small minority is involved in these acts. Reinforce that victims did not deserve to be hurt and that these events are rare and unusual.

Stick to your normal routine as much as possible. A predictable schedule brings comfort and security to kids.

Monitor their television viewing. Try to use a balanced view of what you see on the news and be aware of sensationalism. Discuss the situation as a family for as long as needed. If children wish to change the channel or the subject, take their lead. Try not to let your own need for the latest news override their routine television viewing.

Don’t overlook the positive in the wake of these horrific events. Reassure children that many injured people will get better. Look for news items about heroes and bravery and share them with children. Let your child see how people rally to help each other.

Donate blood if you are physically able. Show your support for the injured and call 1-800-GIVE-LIFE for details. Children can help in their own ways as well by making a small donation to a relief effort or in other ways that you will become aware of in the days ahead.

Help children feel protected. They may become concerned about their personal safety. Again, reassure them that these events are very rare and unlikely to happen where they are. Reassure them that you will always do everything you can to keep them safe and that someone will always take care of them.

Try and keep it together. Children can sense adult’s feelings including stress, anxiety and worry. It is OK to share your feelings of fear but reassure as often as needed that these events are very rare.

Give them a sense of control and optimism for the future. Offer choices without overwhelming them. Discuss future plans for the days, weeks and months ahead. Ask them what they want to be when they grow up. Help them feel needed, wanted and valuable.

Make family plans. Empower children with a plan of action when unexpected things happen. Have children carry important names and phone numbers in their wallet or backpack.

Be aware of extreme reactions. If your child’s reactions or distress begins to interfere with normal daily activities, contact a mental health professional to determine if intervention is needed.

Facilitate their creative expression. Provide art materials and opportunity to play. These experiences can relieve tension and give children their own “voice.”

Spend some extra time with them. More time to talk, to listen, to play. Get off the fast track and kick back a little more. Your time with them is precious.

Teach about a better way. Discuss your feelings about violence as a way of settling differences. Encourage your school to offer conflict resolution training. Set a good example.

In a nutshell…

*Watch television together and help them make sense of what they are seeing.
*Continually reassure without giving false assurances.
*Encourage talking about feelings.
*Contact a mental health professional if a child’s signs of distress are so severe they interfere with daily functioning.

Most of all…

Trust your instincts. You are the expert on your child and on your relationship with your child. Your love and concern will lead you well.

 

The Father That Chose Our Family

Discover the love of a stepfamily and the sheer joy of riding on the steering wheel of a 1938 Packard.


Charles William Bedal was my stepfather. Let it be said, however, that he was my real father. I call him “Dad.”

He started off in life at the age of 14 learning the carpenter trade. His formal education went up to and included some of the seventh grade. His teacher thought that he was stupid. When he got tired his right eye would go up and to the right. When this happened he said, “The pages in my reader blurred to a gray color and I couldn’t read.” He showed us one time where he lived when he was going to school. It was somewhere above Watsonville, California in the coastal mountains. He said that his older brother, Richard, would drive him to school each day in a buggy. Dad had to sit on the back of the buggy so Richard could have his girl friend up front with him. He liked to smooch with her on the way.

I can’t remember when I first saw him. I do remember that Russell and I enjoyed using the cigarette machine to make his cigarettes. We licked the edge of a thin paper and put it in one end of a mechanically operated machine. We put a measured amount of tobacco on the paper and moved the lever from left to right. We were pleased when the cigarette came out looking like a store-bought one.

Dad’s lack of formal education hindered him to some degree. Writing was a chore for him, but he did math in his head. Those years of carpenter work taught him math. His skills with people were very good. He loved to talk. I sometimes think that somehow there was an unusual genetic transfer of this skill from him to me. His smile and gentle laughter punctuated his speech.

When asked how many children he had, Russell and I were always included in the number. He didn’t say, “Two stepchildren and four of my own.” He said, “I’ve got six kids.” He was patient as he taught us the skills of his trade. “Let the saw do the work, Paul,” he said time and time again. I tried to hurry and wound up binding the saw in the curf. “Remember to grab the hammer close to the end,” he said. I eventually learned all of his lessons to become a skillful craftsman.

I watched him as he put in the vent to our indoor bathroom. It was on the outside wall of the house. He kept telling me to not get too close as he filled the seams of the cast-iron pipe with Oakum and sealed them with molten lead. He was careful to keep me out of harms way. I can feel the admiration I had for him as I thought of the things he knew how to do.

He was playful. One time he put me seated in the steering wheel of our 1938 Packard. He steered a crooked course for my sake and I laughed and laughed. It was OK until he had to make a right turn at a corner. I fell out of the steering wheel, but he caught me and put me on the seat close to him. My little heart burned with love for him.

He had a “junk yard” on our property where he “wrecked” cars for extra money. With the rationing that went on at that time used parts were like finding gold. He had an old Model “T” flat-bed truck in the junk yard with the intent of dismantling it. I decided to help him wreck it. I turned the steering wheel to the left with my puny little four year old arms. When it stopped turning I gave it my all to tear it off. That didn’t work so I turned it to the extreme right and did my all to tear it off. Later when he had decided to keep the truck and use it he told someone that it was the best steering truck that he had ever had. I was so proud that I had made it that way!

Dad loved us and showed it. He didn’t do it deliberately, it just happened. His dad was a steam roller man on a highway construction crew. Grampa Bedal was gone most of the time and when he was home he didn’t have much to do with his kids. When Dad was home I remember soon being in his arms. In later years when I was a grown man and had a family of my own he and Mom came to visit. As I went to embrace him he gently pushed me away. In his family grown men just didn’t hug. Years later, when we went to visit him in his old age, he put his arms around me and pressed me to him. He loved us all. At that time he finally gave me a talk about the birds and the bees. That was after I had eight children! Well, I didn’t learn. We had nine children.

I am so glad that he chose us to be his family.


Paul Yadon knows that everyone has a story or two in them. Most of what you will see in his stories will be glimpses into his life with Patricia and their nine children (he says he would do it all over again!) and his travels to 15 countries other than the USA. His former boss calls him honest and dependable.

 

Behind Closed Doors

When a teen struggles with the nightmare that is Bulimia, words from her mother bring about a life-changing moment.


Words that are never whispered, let alone spoken about in polite conversation.

But it is there. It happens. And there are more sufferers out there than you know.

People look at Bulimia and see emaciated bodies hunched over a toilet. No personality, no faces.

But this isn’t it at all.

I don’t know when I started to make myself sick after eating. It’s either been so long that I can’t remember or I’ve blocked it out, but it’s been at least a year.

I’d never been happy with the way that I looked. I felt fat and ugly. My self image hadn’t been done any favours by people at school who would bump into me in corridors saying, “Stupid Fat Cow”. I wasn’t any of these. I’m was in the top handful of my year, and although I was 3 stone overweight, no one had ever commented on it in earnest to me.

I was well-liked, although I didn’t see it at the time, but yet I started making myself sick. I can’t even explain why. I think that it might have been a culmination of things. I was under pressure to succeed at school, and at home my parents had just split up.

No.

It’s unfair and untrue to blame my family for anything that I’ve done in my life. Quite simply I was over sensitive to everything that was said to me. I can remember comments from years ago as clear as if they were whispered in my ear this moment,

“This girl is unfit to dive into water”.

I haven’t been able to dive since, and I used to love swimming.

But I digress. I quite well knew the risks of forcing my body to do things it wasn’t designed for; stomach ulcers, corroded teeth, bad skin, digestive problems, liver and kidney damage… the list goes on.

But yet I still did it.

And the irony is, I didn’t feel any better about myself after I’d lost the 3 ½ stone and come into my normal weight bracket. I still saw fat in the mirror and ugly in the eyes of others.

The worst day of my life came about a year after I’d started down the eating disorder road. My mother confronted me and asked me straight out whether I’d been making myself sick. I reluctantly admitted it. My first thought was to cover it up. To lie, but I was tired of lying. I was tired of it all.

So, I ended up going to a psychiatrist who did nothing for me. I was as bad as I always had been.

The changing moment in my life came from my mother. After I’d confessed how little the therapy was helping me with my problem, I sat down and had a long talk with her. The talk covered many things. Me, her, the family, my feelings, her feelings… and then she said the most important words to me,

“Failure is not falling down……It is staying down.”

These few words have changed my life irrevocably. I’ve begun to see what I CAN do, not what I can’t. I see just how lucky I am; in my family, my friends, my talents… even my weaknesses.

I am no longer depressed. I have my whole life in front of me and I can do whatever I want.

I am the luckiest person in the world.

Whatever I want to do….

I CAN.

 

Editor’s note: 1 stone = 14 pounds


Eleanor Cole is an 18 year old student living in England, and will shortly be attending university to study Film and English Literature. She enjoys writing in a variety of different styles from comments upon issues such as cancer and eating disorders to poetry and short stories.

Natural Hairstyles for Kids

I am always looking for creative hairstyles for my natural hair daughter and so I decided to share some that I have done over the years.

I hope you enjoy and you are able to use some on your kiddos 🙂

Here are some natural hairstyles for kids:

Wash & Go

 

 Curlformers

This was just a test to stretch her hair since she has a lot of shrinkage, to see how it would look and how long it would last on her hair. I was surprised she actually sat through this and actually kept it in her head all day to air dry. It lasted one day and the straight hair was gone. It remained stretched out until I added moisturizer and it was back to curly.

 

Braid outs & Twist outs

 

Individual braids

I love individual braids because it is low maintenance on the hair, it can last up to two weeks (with touch ups), and you can do different hairstyles with it. It is also a great protective style.

 

 Two-strand Twists (three strand braid at the roots and two strand twist on the ends)

Most people do two stand twists with just two stands but I like to start out with three stand braid and finish with two stand twist. It looks neater and it holds longer. Also a great protective style.

 

 Cornrows

I love cornrows because you can be very creative with it. I am always looking for different hair styles to try. It is another protective style that will help promote growth. Really any style that minimizes combing or maneuvering the hair strands is a protective style. One advise I can give is try not to braid the hair too tight. Braiding the hair too tight can cause breakage and also pull the hair out from the follicle, which defeats the purpose of putting the hair in braids; so be gentle with the little ones 🙂

 

Here is a site with some other hairstyles you can try.

Puffs

My favorite hair style when she was a baby and tiny tot. I still do them now but not as often since her hair gets really tangled.

 

 Singles

 

 

Single Ballerina Bun

 

Any questions please leave a comment and I will do my best to answer 🙂

Happy parenting <3 🙂

Facebook Comments
  • Kennith Bosh September 7, 2015 at 1:10 pm | Permalink

    Its superb as your other posts : D, thankyou for putting up. “Before borrowing money from a friend it’s best to decide which you need most.” by Joe Moore.

    Reply

  • Antonietta Witchey

    Antonietta Witchey February 13, 2016 at 7:56 pm | Permalink

    Do you mind if I quote a few of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your weblog? My blog site is in the exact same area of interest as yours and my visitors would certainly benefit from some of the information you provide here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Appreciate it!

    Reply

But I Want to Be Responsible!

Find six tips to help your child learn money management and financial responsibility.


Children are growing up faster these days than we did. It’s only natural, we grew up faster than our parents. We need to start discussing important topics with our children early. We need to have them start taking more responsibility for money as soon as we can. For one thing it will take the burden of being asked “mom can I get that…”. We will always have the answer “can you afford it” or “have you saved enough for it.”

Start Today

It never is fun to start this conversation with your children. But write out a plan, find out how much you want to give them for an allowance and stick to it. Decide if you want to have chores associated with their allowance and how you want to handle situations when the chores aren’t getting done. Set a particular payday and STICK TO IT! Don’t give pay advances, it will only open doors to MORE advances. This will defeat the whole lesson.

Get Them Involved

Discuss budget with your kids, when they are old enough to understand. Show them how you have set up your budgets and what you do to stick to the budget. Teach your children how to write checks and balance a checkbook. Teaching children the value of money early will create good spending habits for the future.

The Value of Charity

Teach your children that giving to others is important. It will help them in many aspects of their lives. It will teach them to value other people and open their hearts up to others.

Homemade Bank Accounts

Children learn visually, setting up a box for spending and a box for saving is helpful. This way they can move money from their “savings account” to their “checking account (spending account)” and vice versa when they see fit. It will teach them how to save. Kids, like adults, get excited when they see their savings grow.

Learn From Mistakes

At some point in time, your kids will want something “REALLY BAD” but they don’t have any more money. Don’t give in and buy it. Let them save up their allowance or pick up extra chores (if that fits into your system) to earn more money. They will remember and appreciate how hard they worked for that special something.

Keep Communicating

Help your kids set goals and stick to them. Start small, like a bag of candy then grow into something big like a bike. Have fun with it, if it’s painful, no one will learn and they will grow to resent budgets. Children learn by having fun! Keep it interesting and they will always want to speak to you about it.


Sara Kair is co-author of the Moms-connection.com http://www.moms-connection.com. Sara and her partners are dedicated to helping families connect with the way they want to live their lives. Other articles include making and saving money, spiritual growth, decorating and gift making. Please visit http://www.moms-connection.com. To sign up for the newsletter: http://www.moms-connection.com/subscribe.htm
Copyright 2002 moms-connection

Printed with permission

Social Media and Kids with Anxiety

Social Media and Kids and The Bogeyman

Some people think that family ties will bind, however your DNA ties and the strategies your parents gave you aren’t strong enough to hold together when the seduction of social media beckons – and the unintended consequences for our children can be very serious. There’s a new Bogeyman in town when it comes to social media and kids.

Highest levels of depression and anxiety in youth today

Dr. Jared Balmer, a contributor to the FamilyIQ clinical advisory board, member of the Joint Commission Youth Advisory Council, and leader in the field of Therapeutic Schools and Programs, delivered some extraordinarily troubling statistics in his July 25, 2012 presentation hosted by Mark Hobbins, FamilyIQ founder [If you are interested in viewing the presentation, please Opt-In on the form below]

Dr. Balmer’s presentation, The Four Headed Monster sites a report in the AMA Journal of September 2008 that states:

“following a steady two decade decline, between 2003 and 2004
we see an 18% increase in suicide rates in youth under 20 years of age”

Balmer goes on to deliver a terrifying projection and the link between social media and kids:

“Today experts who work with youth across the nation believe that anxiety and depression will be the #1 cause of mortality in adolescents in the next 20 years. As professionals race to discover the source of this frightening prognosis, research suggests that social media may be the culprit.”

The #1 cause of teens’ unintentional death in 2007 was motor vehicle accidents (70%) according to Child Health USA 2011. As horrific as this 2007 statistic is, it is even more difficult to fathom that in the year 2030 suicide will become the #1 cause of death in adolescence, giving credence to Balmer’s belief that,“ a cell phone is more damaging than a driver’s license – the boundaries are far more difficult to chart!”

Social Media and Kids in the Digital Playground

This week you received more information on your smartphone than your grandparents received in their lifetime.  In 2012 the number of mobile-connected devices will exceed the world’s population of almost 7 billion claims cisco.com, a world leader in Internet networking since 1986.

Clearly social media and kids with mobile communication will become the norm, not the exception, as more than 90% of the US population are already mobile subscribers.  Our kids are growing up on a digital playground that we barely recognize. How do we supervise this new playground without appearing as either luddite or loon?

Check-out our INFOGRAPHIC: Depressed Teens and the Digital Playground

Can we link social media and kids and suicide?

While the social media and kids and suicide connection seems preposterous the research seems to hold water. New studies show that the brain is not fully developed until age 25 when a huge proliferation of cells develop late in the teen years. Until that time, the chemical soup of puberty, hormones, and high drama create a Bonfire of Emotions making teens particularly vulnerable.

Neuroscientists have confirmed that teens do have brains, but they’re wired differently from adults. Dr. Beatriz Luna, PhD, Professor of Psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh pioneered neuro-imaging studies focused on the adolescent period because this is the time when individuals show the greatest vulnerability to psychopathology and to mortality due to risk-taking behavior.

“As the chemical soup percolates without the benefit of executive function, teens are in the midst of identity formation and have an inordinate need for acceptance which is hyper-stated with technology­: texting, internet, and the necessity for lots of “LIKES”. This hypersensitivity for acceptance drives the desire for intimacy – but it’s not about intimacy, it’s a desire for acceptance.” explains Mark Hobbins, founder and president of FamilyIQ.

This perfect storm that goes on in a teen’s mind has many possible consequences:

  1. Teens have an inordinate need for acceptance
  2. Teens are hypersensitive to feelings – it becomes a crisis when someone didn’t say hi
  3. Teens desire for intimacy – this is not about intimacy, but rather acceptance
  4. Teens desire for thrills – this is not sexual, but focuses on extreme behaviours like piercing, tattoos—this is all caused by the “blasting, re-wiring and re-modelling” going on inside
  5. Teens desire for getting attention changes their behaviour – in their language and they way they dress
  6. Teens have an inability to cope with stress – and can fall into dangerous behavior. According to Hobbins, 50,000 to 60,000 kids a year fall into the danger zone
  7.  Teens and their “foolish in the moment” can have negative long-term consequences, for example, how long will a “sexting text” remain digitally?

Hobbins has made a 25 year career of helping families and began his career as the co-founder of a treatment and intervention company, during which time he saw a sad dilemma play out in the lives of tens of thousands of families who had to place their children in treatment programs.

The cause and effect of social media and kids

Dr. Balmer explains that to be socially attractive, we must look people in the face and to carry on an effective conversation demands an innate ability to read and interpret non-verbal language. With social media and kids, the opposite is true, teens buried in texting, online games, Facebook and the “LIKE”, become isolated and disembodied because their conversations are not real and their virtual friendships are without real assets. Self-esteem plummets creating historic levels of anxiety and depression in adolescence.

Dr. Balmer warns us not to believe that intelligent kids are immune to these pitfalls.“This is phenomenon is all about a child’s emotional IQ and social age – brilliant kids can be social morons and flock to social media for acceptance, where as many so-called popular kids may use it less having found their peer groups in the real world.”  

Actively involved in the treatment field, FamilyIQ’s Mark Hobbins also added,

“Here we are on July 25, 2012 and all the psychiatric hospitals for troubled adolescents in California are full!”      

Supervising the Digital Playground for social media and kids

Technology and digital communication has become the tsunami that washes over each of our intricate lives. To assume that as a parent we can simply eliminate the risk by forbidding exposure is not realistic; to allow ignorance of the medium to interfere with our parenting values is unacceptable; and to continue to parent they way we were parented limits the impact we can have with our children.

We’re cheating our kids if we don’t educate ourselves about how to set boundaries, develop strong relationships, and instill enduring family values before the teenage alien lands in our household. Parenting today is far more complex than imparting the simple life skills of yesteryear. We’re required to be more imaginative and more creative to get and keep our children’s attention and build a foundation of responsibility. We have such a short time together and time races on.

Consider this: 1 Exabyte = 1 Billion Gigabytes and took 2003 years to evolve

  • So what is a Gigabyte? It is a multiple of the unit “byte” for digital storage and represents a billion bytes. From the start of time to 2003, the world accumulated 5 Exabytes of data.
  • In plain speak, consider those birthday greeting cards that, when opened, play Happy Birthday. The computing power in that card, exceeds the world’s combined computing powering 1953, which would have taken up multiple floors in a high-rise office tower.
  • 1 Exabyte in 2010 and took 2 days to accumulate
  • 1 Exabyte 2013 will take about 10 minutes to accumulate

We can’t hold back the world to protect our children, but we can make sure we learn the parenting skills to appropriately supervise this digital playground. Don’t minimize the power and influence you can have with your kids.

“Make a deep connection with your kids before their teens and don’t be afraid to be different and set clear boundaries. Parents need to be on their A Game, urges Hobbins, “To protect and nurture their children through dignity, style and class and explain this perfect storm before it happens”.

Sadly Kids don’t come with a manual

Raising responsible children and nurturing a great family, the two most important skills in life, are the least taught and trained; however, we fill our lives with classes and courses to better our careers, cooking, capital, castle, character, cheerfulness, charm, charisma, company, and clout. Social media and kids is a relatively new phenomenon, none the less parents can be empowered to face these new challenges with the proper parenting tools.

Kimbal DeLare, another a contributor to the FamilyIQ clinical advisory board who has worked with troubled teens for over 30 years said, “When dealing with families in crisis, 99% believed that this would NOT happen to them and suddenly, things were not as good as they thought they were, and in that moment they realized they didn’t have the skills they needed.”

After all, you don’t know what you don’t know . . . we’d like to share that information with you. Let’s get started. Opt-In (on the form below) to view Dr. Balmer’s WEBINAR PRESENTATION

 

Opt-In on the Red Form (in the Right Hand Column) and choose a topic of interest for 12 FREE ARTICLES.