On Becoming a TakeBack Mom

There is a wiped out mom that lives in a shoe. She has so many challenging children; she doesn’t know what to do.

There is a wiped out mom that lives in a shoe. She has so many challenging children; she doesn’t know what to do. Willie whines and Connie complains and cries. David destroys, disrupts and defies and Lilly lies. The triplets throw tantrums, talk back and tease and the other siblings swear, steal and scream. Harry humiliates, Rudy runs off and Annie ignores and argues. Whew!

After popping her next dose of Xanax, mom laments how things could have gotten this bad. After all, she does follow the infamous “Winging It” parenting philosophy that has been followed by millions before her. If you’re not familiar with it, here are the basic rules:

When you ask Cindy to do something, repeat your request up to 10-15 times as needed. If she fails to comply, start warning or threatening her that something bad is going to happen. Hope that she will eventually follow through because you haven’t figured out what the “something bad” is going to be.

When Billy throws a tantrum after you’ve asked him to pick up his toys, do the job yourself. The poor kid is going through a difficult stage.

Give Cissy that candy bar after she makes a scene in the store. Really, what would the other shoppers think of you and your screaming child.

When Joey is playing nicely with his toys, don’t praise him for his good behavior as he might start acting up when you pay some attention. For goodness sake, let sleeping dogs lie. Be happy you have a break already. Out of sight, out of mind.

On the rare day that Sarah cleans up on her own, praise her and then remind her that she should have done it yesterday. C’mon, what’s praise without a little kick in the end?

Don’t want to deal with Bobby’s behavior right now? That’s OK! Put it off for a few minutes or hours. Whenever you’re ready.

Don’t feel you need to be specific when dealing with your child’s problem behavior. Just tell Samantha she’s a rotten kid and leave it at that. And don’t play with her anymore either or she might think she’s getting away with something.

Barney’s screaming may bother you today but tomorrow it may not get to you at all. Don’t worry about being consistent, as it will all work out. And by the way, don’t fret if your hubby disciplines differently than you. The kid will figure it all out somehow.

Had enough of our ranting?

Disgruntled with the results of the “Winging It” approach and overcome with the desire to Take Back her Kds and ditch the Xanax, mom delivers a powerful dose of purposeful parenting to the brood.

When Take Back mom asks Cindy to do something, she states a simple command and uses good eye contact. She doesn’t yell out from the other room and she reduces any distractions (TV, video games.) She makes sure Cindy understands her request as well. Cindy complies with the request because she knows what the consequences are. She also knows that when she behaves well, good things happen.

Billy’s tantrums are now short lived because no one pays too much attention to them and no one else will pick up his blocks. He knows how to get a job done. Cissy doesn’t get the candy bar at the store when she throws a fit. The woman driving the next cart tells Take Back mom to “hang tough” because “we’ve all been there.”

Our eagle-eyed Take Back mom notices snippets of good behavior and attacks it with a lightning bolt of praise. “I love how you…Look at that!” Quick as a flash, she’s back to the laundry. The kids don’t know what to make of it but something starts stirring inside.

There are no reminders of past bad deeds anymore because every moment is a new chance to grow. Consequences these days are swift, immediate and appropriate and mom and dad are on the same page. Everyone has some playtime with mom because she knows that play can be a powerful motivator.

Simplistic Musings? Absolutely!

Taking back your kids could likely be a parent’s most difficult challenge when relationships seem to have gone belly up and hopes for happy futures begin to fade. However, the task is nowhere near hopeless. Reading an article or getting support from people who care can help a wiped out mom take the first baby steps to becoming a Take Back mom. We can take them back! Help someone today.